We’ve all been there. You’re sitting with your child, doing homework, and everything is going great. They’re focused, you’re feeling proud, and then… BAM. An obstacle pops up. Maybe it’s a word that’s hard to pronounce while reading or a math word problem that doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t matter what it is. The tears start flowing, the anger kicks in, and suddenly, everyone is frustrated.
So how do we help kids move past those moments—the ones that feel like insurmountable mountains to them? How do we teach them to push through and keep climbing?
At American Family Martial Arts, we see these moments as opportunities. Martial arts is full of challenges—whether it’s mastering a new technique, breaking a board, or earning that next belt. But here’s the thing: those challenges are exactly what help kids grow. They learn to face obstacles head-on, one small step at a time, and we’re here to guide them through it.
One of my favorite quotes is from A League of Their Own: “It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great.” This quote perfectly captures the essence of overcoming obstacles. It’s the effort, the struggle, and the eventual triumph that make success so rewarding. And it’s a lesson we strive to teach every day.
Step 1: Normalize the Challenge
The first thing to do when a child encounters an obstacle is to remind them that it’s normal to struggle. I find that this is the hardest step. Children can be very self-centered and in the moment, they think they are the only ones who have ever faced a challenge. We must remind them that everyone faces challenges, and it’s okay to feel frustrated. When a student in class is having trouble with a technique, we often say, “It’s not supposed to be easy. That’s how we get stronger.” This simple reminder can help take some of the pressure off.
Step 2: Break It Down
Big obstacles feel overwhelming, especially to children. That’s why we focus on breaking things down into smaller, more manageable steps. For the month of January, American Family Martial Arts focuses on guiding our students on how they can create achievable goals and giving them the framework to break down the larger obstacles in their life. Can’t do the whole form yet? Let’s just practice the first move. Stuck on a tough math problem? Start by solving just the first part. Helping children focus on small wins builds their confidence and keeps them moving forward.
Step 3: Celebrate the Effort
At American Family Martial Arts, we love to celebrate progress—not just the end result. When a child works hard to earn a stripe on their belt, we cheer just as loudly as we would for a big promotion. The same goes for life outside of martial arts. Praise the effort your child puts in, even if they’re not there yet. “I’m so proud of how hard you’re trying” goes a long way.
Step 4: Model Resilience
Believe it or not, your child looks at the adults around them for how to handle tough situations. When we show them that it’s okay to take a deep breath, step back, and try again, we’re teaching them valuable coping skills. At home or in class, we can share our own stories of overcoming obstacles to show them that persistence pays off.
Step 5: Reframe the Obstacle
One of my favorite things to say to children in class is, “This is hard, but hard means you’re learning.” When we reframe challenges as opportunities to grow, kids start to see obstacles as a normal and even exciting part of the journey.
Teaching the Life Skill of Perseverance
Helping children overcome obstacles is about more than just solving the problem in front of them. It’s about teaching them perseverance—a life skill that will serve them far beyond the dojo or the classroom. Every time they push through frustration, they’re building the resilience and confidence they’ll need to tackle bigger challenges down the road.
The next time you’re sitting with your child and a tough moment hits, remember this: it’s not about fixing the problem for them. It’s about guiding them through it. At American Family Martial Arts, we’re here to help you do just that—one small step, one big cheer, and one goal at a time.
Ready to help your child build resilience, confidence, and the skills to tackle any obstacle? Schedule a free trial class with us today and see how martial arts can transform their journey!