When Game Night with a 5-Year-Old Doesn’t Go as Planned
If you’ve ever sat down for family game night with a 5- or 6-year-old, you probably know exactly where this story is going. I’ve been there myself. You have all these grand expectations of how perfect the night will be—laughter, bonding, maybe a little friendly competition. You pull out Chutes and Ladders (because who doesn’t love that classic?), gather everyone around the table, and start playing. For a while, everything is great. Your child is on a winning streak, beaming with confidence, certain they’re going to beat you. And then it happens.
They hit that slide. You know the one—the longest chute on the board that takes them from the top right back to the bottom. And just like that, your confident little champ becomes a puddle of frustration, tears, and maybe even a bit of anger. They insist you must have cheated. Sound familiar?
If you’ve ever found yourself sitting at the table, wondering what on earth just happened and thinking, Why is my child like this? How do I fix this?, I want you to know something: This is completely normal.
Why 5- and 6-Year-Olds Struggle with Losing
Five- and six-year-olds love being the center of attention, and what better way to bask in that spotlight than by winning a game? At this age, their world still revolves around them. The idea that things might not go their way? That’s hard to swallow. Honestly, I joke with parents all the time that 5- and 6-year-olds will lie, cheat, steal—and if they could—murder to win a game. It’s good for a laugh, but there’s truth in it. They aren’t doing it out of malice; they just haven’t yet learned the social and emotional skills needed to handle competition gracefully.
When they’re winning, the world feels right, and they’re on top of it. But when they suddenly lose ground—especially in something as visible as sliding down the board in Chutes and Ladders—it’s not just about losing the game. To them, it feels like losing control, and that’s overwhelming. Cue the meltdown.
What Can You Do to Help?
You’re probably thinking, Great, so now what? How do I stop these game-night meltdowns? I wish I could tell you there was a quick fix, but there really isn’t. It’s going to take time, patience, and practice—both for you and your child. But the good news is, with the right approach, they will get there. Here are a few things I’ve found helpful over the years, both as a parent and working with kids:
- Talk About the Purpose of Playing Games
Before you even start the game, remind your child why you’re playing: to have fun and spend time together as a family. It sounds simple, but reinforcing that games aren’t just about winning can help set the right tone. - Gently Call Out the Behavior
When the tears come and frustration takes over, it’s important to address it—but in a way that connects, not criticizes. Let them know that you understand they’re disappointed. Then explain, “When we act like this, it makes the game less fun for everyone.” This helps them see that their actions impact others. - Don’t Stop Playing Games
I know it can be tempting to just stop playing games altogether. After all, who wants to deal with tears and tantrums every time you break out the board games? But avoiding games won’t help them learn. They need opportunities to practice handling wins and losses. If you stop playing, they lose the chance to develop the skills they need to enjoy games and celebrate others’ successes, too. - Celebrate Other People’s Wins
Over time, gently encourage your child to find joy when someone else wins—especially if it’s a friend or family member. It won’t happen overnight, but it’s a skill they need to develop. Little by little, they’ll start to understand that it’s okay if they aren’t always the star of the show.
It Takes Time, But It’s Worth It
As frustrating as those game-night meltdowns can be, they’re also an important part of your child’s growth. Learning that they won’t always win, that they won’t always get their way, and that it’s still possible to enjoy the game—those are hard lessons. But they are essential ones.
It’s okay if it takes a while for your child to get the hang of it. Trust me, I’ve been there. I know how hard it can be to keep playing when every game seems to end in tears. But don’t give up! With patience, persistence, and a little humor, you’ll make progress.
One day, your child will surprise you. Maybe they’ll slide down that same chute and, instead of bursting into tears, they’ll laugh—and you’ll see that all your effort was worth it. They’ll get there, one game at a time, and when they do, you’ll feel just as proud as if you had won. Because really, you both did.
Join Us for a Free Class
If you’ve ever struggled with meltdowns, tears, or those “it’s not fair!” moments, you’re not alone. At American Family Martial Arts, we help kids develop emotional regulation, resilience, and